This page has information about domestic violence and advice about what you can do if you are experiencing it.
- What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence can take many forms
What can I do if I am experiencing domestic violence?
Can I get help with the law and going to court?
Can I get an income?
What if I need to move?
What about support and compensation?
Supporting someone who experiences domestic violence
What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is when someone you share (or shared) a house with, a carer (either paid or unpaid) or a child against other family members, uses violence or abuse to cause fear and have control over you. It is an abuse of power that can leave you feeling physically hurt, sad, depressed, despairing and/or fearful.
Domestic violence most commonly refers to abuse from your partner or ex-partner. However, you can also experience domestic violence from a relative or someone you have (or had) an intimate relationship with.
Domestic violence can happen in any relationship. It can happen to anyone, whether you are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or transgender. It happens across all communities, across all social classes and occurs in the city and the country.
All domestic violence is wrong and some forms of domestic violence are a crime. You do not have to put up with domestic violence. You are not to blame for the violence. You can get help.
Domestic violence can take many forms
Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, social and/or financial. Stalking, harassment and intimidation are also forms of domestic violence.
Some people experience all these forms of violence while others may experience one or a few forms. If you have experienced any of these forms of abuse, then you have experienced domestic violence.
Emotional, social and/or financial abuse can be just as damaging to a person’s life and have the same impact as physical or sexual abuse.
Physical abuse
Physical abuse is when your partner hurts you physically in any way. For example, if they:
- hit, punch, slap, push, bite, kick or try to strangle you
- break your bones or burn you
- use weapons against you or threaten to use weapons against you and/or
- break your things or hurt your pets
Sexual abuse is when your partner forces you to do anything sexually that you don’t want to do. For example, if your partner forces you to:
- have sex when you don’t want to and/or
- makes you take part in some sexual activity that you didn’t want to take part in
Emotional abuse is when your partner does things that make you feel scared, fearful and/or bad about yourself. For example, if your partner:
- calls you names
- constantly criticises you or the things you do
- puts you down in private or in public
- shouts or yells at you
- threatens to harm you, your friends, your family, your pets or themselves if you leave and/or
- humiliates you in front of your friends, family or colleagues
Social abuse is when your partner stops you from seeing your family or friends or from taking part in any activity outside the home. For example, if your partner:
- stops you from visiting your family or friends
- abuses your family or friends if they come to visit you
- locks you inside the house
- monitors your phone calls or phone bills, or has the phone disconnected
- alienates you from your cultural background or religious beliefs or stops you from praying or worshipping (sometimes referred to as spiritual abuse)
Financial abuse is when your partner takes control of your money against your will. For example, if they:
- take all your money or take control of your income
- refuse to give you any money
- make you account for every dollar you spend
- threaten to withdraw access to money if you don’t do what they want you to do
Stalking is when your partner or ex-partner:
- follows you or watches you and/or
- loiters around your house, your work or any place that you go to socialise or for leisure
Harassment and intimidation is when your partner or ex-partner: What can I do if I am experiencing domestic violence?
You do not have to put up with domestic violence. You can get help. Here are some things you can do:
Call the police 000
If you are in danger of violence, or you fear violence, you can call the police on 000. Tell them you need help now and ask them to come. They can use the law to protect you.
Talk to someone you trust
If you have a friend or a family member that you trust, tell them what is happening to you and how it makes you feel. You could ask this person to help you make a safety plan or make contact with services that can help if this is appropriate for you.
Call the Domestic Violence Line
To contact the DV Line phone 1800 65 64 63 from anywhere in NSW, seven days a week, 24 hours a day. If you are deaf or hearing impaired, call the TTY service on 1800 67 14 42.
If you want information about domestic violence, or you just want someone to talk to, you can call the Department of Community Services’ Domestic Violence Line (DV Line). The DV Line is a statewide free telephone information and referral service. You do not have to give the person you talk to your name if you don’t want to.
Workers at the DV Line will listen to you and they will believe you. They know about domestic violence. They understand that the violence isn’t your fault and that you don’t have to put up with it.
- The person you talk to can answer your questions so that you can decide what is best for you and your children, if you have any. They can provide you with contact details for services that can help. The DV Line can:
- Provide information, support and advice (if you want it)
- Help to arrange accommodation in emergencies
- Explain which services can help and what they do
- Make referrals to a refuge, family support service, counselling service, police, courts, lawyers and/or hospitals as you require
- Help you with police, courts and the law and
- Explain Apprehended Domestic Violence Orders (ADVO) and how you can get one.
The DV Line can arrange an interpreter if you do not speak English.
Make a safety plan
A safety plan helps you to be ready if you have to leave your home quickly. You may not need to use it but it is useful to be prepared and it can help you to feel safer. You could make a safety plan yourself or ask someone from a domestic violence service to help you.
Some things to consider in your safety plan are:
- Where will you go if you need to leave quickly — a friend or family member’s place, a hotel or a refuge?
- How will you get away — car, taxi, public transport, get someone to pick you up?
- Is there someone you can trust that can help you if you need to leave quickly? If there is, let them know about your safety plan and how you would like them to help you if you call.
- How much money would you need to get away in an emergency, for example you may need money for phone calls, transport or accommodation?
For example, you could:
- Get a bag ready and hide it in a safe place. Pack things like spare keys for the car and house, copies of important documents like your passport, bank details, property deeds, Medicare card, any important medication and details about your health etc. If you have children, also pack any documents for them.
- If you need to, put aside enough money so you can leave quickly if you have to. Remember to account for phone calls, transport, accommodation and food.
- Make sure you have a list of relevant phone numbers, such as the DV Line or another service that you are seeing about the violence.
You might decide it is best to leave the place you live for a while. You could go to a safe place like a refuge. Refuges are safe houses that provide short-term accommodation for women and children escaping domestic violence. Refuge workers offer counselling and emotional support as well as advocacy and assistance with legal, medical, housing, financial and other matters.
To find out more about refuges, contact the DV Line on 1800 65 64 63.
Other safe places to consider could be with a relative, friend, motel or caravan park.
Use the law to protect you
If someone is physically violent towards you or you fear for your safety, you can use the law to protect you. You can apply for an Apprehended Domestic Violence Order (ADVO) and an Exclusion Order.
Apprehended Domestic Violence Order (ADVO)
ADVOs are orders that a court makes to protect victims of domestic violence. ADVOs protect people by ordering those using violence not to do specific things. You decide what it is that you want the person to stop doing. For example, the ADVO could say that the person is not to come near you at any time or it could say the person is not to come near you if they have been drinking. ADVOs can be made to last for as long as you need to be protected. All ADVOs prohibit the person from assaulting, molesting, harassing, threatening or otherwise interfering with the protected person or anyone with whom the protected person has a domestic relationship, for example, your family.
An ADVO is an order of the court. An ADVO is not, in itself, a criminal charge. However, if the person does something the ADVO orders them not to do, this is called a breach. It is a criminal offence to breach an ADVO. If someone breaches an ADVO you can call the police and with evidence, they can arrest the person.
If you have called the police to your home because of domestic violence, and there is reasonable grounds, the police should apply for an ADVO for you.
You can apply for an ADVO yourself by making an appointment with the Chamber Registrar at the Local Court and legal aid may be available to assist you in your application. Contact the Domestic Violence Advocacy Service for legal advice and legal representation.
There are 33 Women’s Domestic Violence Court Assistance Schemes operating in 59 Local Courts to assist you at court. At some of these courts, a Domestic Violence Solicitor Scheme is also available to assist you.
Find out more about ADVOs
Find out more about local courts
Exclusion orders
What is an exclusion order?
An exclusion order allows you to remain at home as part of the Aprrehended Domestic Violence Order (ADVO), and excludes or removes the violent person. An exclusion order is one of the conditions which may be applied for in an ADVO. An exclusion order prohibits the violent person from living in the home of the protected person. This includes the home where both parties are, or have been living.
Is this something for me?
Before applying for an exclusion order, there are a number of questions you should be asking yourself.
- Will you be, and feel, safe if you stay at home?
- Will you be fearful because your partner knows where you are living?
- Would you prefer to stay at home and have the violent person leave?
- Do you have children and would they be better off remaining at home with you?
- Can you afford to pay the housing costs?
A Magistrate can only make an exclusion order if it is requested in the application for an ADVO.
It's important to discuss this option with a lawyer, court support worker or police officer when applying for an ADVO. If you get an exclusion order, please talk with a court support worker and police officer about what else you might need to feel safe and supported.
Sometimes it's best to get an exclusion order as part of a Provisional Order which police can apply for after hours, following a violent incident.
If an exclusion order is refused, you can seek help from a Chamber Registrar at any local court.
Remember to report any breaches of the exclusion order to the police.
What’s relevant to the Court in making an exclusion order?
The Court considers a number of things in deciding whether or not to make an exclusion order. These are:
- the safety and protection of the protected person and any children living at home, if such an order is not made
- any hardship that may be caused by making or not making the order, particularly to the protected person and any children
- the accomodation needs of all relevant parties, particularly the protected person and any children, and
- any other relevant matter.
Police/Ambulance
Domestic Violence Line
Domestic Violence Advocacy Service
Dept of Community Services Help Line
Women’s Legal Resource Centre
Indigenous Women’s Contact Line
Financial Assistance Centrelink
Wirringa Baiya Aboriginal Womens Legal Centre
For more details, go to the Contacts for Help page.Can I get help with the law and going to court?
There are a number of services that can help you with going to court.
Community legal centres
For free legal advice, you can contact a community legal centre. Any community legal centre can help you. However, some key centres to consider include:
- Domestic Violence Advocacy Service
- Women’s Legal Resource Centre
- Wirringa Baiya Aboriginal Women’s Legal Centre
Court Assistance Schemes
There are around thirty-three funded court support schemes running across NSW. These schemes help women who are experiencing domestic violence to use the law to protect them. Workers from the schemes will:
- Talk to you about your needs and options
- Ensure that you have legal representation if you want it.
- Advocate on your behalf to make sure the AVO is tailored to suit your needs
- Go with you to court and support you through the process
- Refer you to services that can help with other needs.
Legal Aid
Legal Aid is sometimes available for domestic violence cases if you fit the eligibility criteria for Legal Aid. For more information about Legal Aid, call Law Access on 1300 888 529 or go to the contacts for help page of this website.Can I get an income?
You may be able to get an income from Centrelink if you are eligible under Centrelink criteria.
If you are eligible, and you are escaping domestic or family violence, or are at risk of domestic or family violence, you can speak to a social worker. Social workers are located in Centrelink Customer Service Centres and Call Centres. Social workers:
- provide counselling and support to Centrelink customers with difficult personal or family issues
- provide information about, or refer customers to, community support services
- help with claims for payments from Centrelink.
For more information about Centrelink, go to the contacts for help page of this website.
What if I need to move?
Any person being subjected to domestic violence may apply for housing assistance from the Department of Housing (DoH).
If you are escaping domestic violence, need housing and you meet the Department’s eligibility criteria, you may be eligible for a number of programs, including priority housing and RentStart. The domestic violence will need to be substantiated by a third party, such as a refuge or a social worker, police, community advocate or court staff.
The DoH may also be able to provide initial bond and rent assistance in the private rental market if needed. You can, of course, arrange your own private accommodation at any time.
For more information about NSW Department of Housing services, go to the contacts for help page of this website. Support and compensation for victims of domestic violence
Detailed Information on counselling and compensation for victims of domestic violence can be found on the Victims of Crime website.
If you have been the victim of domestic violence, you may be eligible for counselling and victims compensation from the Victims Compensation Tribunal. The information provided below answers some frequently asked questions about applying for victims compensation and counselling.
Can I receive free counselling?
Yes. You may be entitled to counselling under the Approved Counselling Scheme if you:
- were the victim of domestic violence that occurred in NSW,
- witnessed domestic violence being perpetrated on someone; or
- are the parent or guardian of a victim of domestic violence who was a child at the time of the incident.
Compensation
Please refer to the pamphlet Compensation for Victims of Violent Crime (PDF 102Kb) for more information about applying for victims compensation and making a claim.
Visit the Victims of Crime website for more information on making a domestic violence compensation claim.
Supporting someone who experiences domestic violence
Has a friend or family member approached you and talked about being abused? Do you suspect that a friend or family member is being abused and you are not sure what to do? Your response is really important and can make a great difference.
For more information about how you can help support someone who experiences domestic violence phone the Domestic Violence Line on 1800 65 64 63 or download the brochure "supporting someone who experiences domestic violence".