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Where am I now? Lawlink > Violence Against Women Specialist Unit > What is violence against women? > What if your friend tells you she has been hurt?
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What if your friend tells you she has been hurt?
It’s hard finding out that someone you care about has experienced violence. It can bring up a lot of strong feelings such as shock, confusion, distress, anger, helplessness, guilt and protectiveness. Your friend has put her trust in you and there are lots of things you can do to help her. Your response is important and can make a big difference.
1. Listen and support her
It takes a lot of courage and trust for someone to disclose violence to another person and it is important that you listen and respect them.
2. Let her know
- You believe her
- It’s not her fault
- She is not alone
3. Ensure that she is safe
If the violence is recent (such as in the last few days) it is important to make sure that the person is safe from further assaults and immediate danger. Encourage the person to go somewhere safe such as a police station, hospital or a friend’s house. If you are worried about her safety or yours phone the Police on 000.
4. There are lots of places that can help
It is common for people to feel overwhelmed and unsure about how to support someone who has experienced violence.
NSW Rape Crisis Centre and DoCS Domestic Violence Line operate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to provide support and information to victims of violence and concerned friends and family.
DoCS Domestic Violence Line - 1800 65 64 63 (toll free) - TTY 1800 67 14 42 (for callers with a hearing impairment)
Download the supporting someone experiencing domestic violence brochure
For information on domestic violence in same sex relationships visit Another Closet
NSW Rape Crisis Centre - 1800 42 40 17 - www.nswrapecrisis.com.au
Download information for friends and family of victims of sexual assault
NSW Health Sexual Assault Services provide free counselling, information and medical services for anyone who has been sexually assaulted. Sexual Assault Services also offer support and information for friends and family. Visit NSW Health to find your nearest Sexual Assault Service (select ‘Sexual Assault Services’ in the ‘Service Type’ field)
The Victims Support Line - 1800 633 063 (toll free) - TTY (02) 9374 3175 (for callers with a hearing impairment) is provided by the Victims of Crime Bureau and is available 24 hours a day. Find out more
Children and young people
Remember, if children or young people under the age of 16 years are involved in the abuse, phone the NSW Department of Community Services as soon as possible on 132 111.
5. Let her know she has the right to be respected, believed & not be judged
All victims of crime have the right to:
a. be treated with courtesy, compassion, cultural sensitivity and respect
b. information about, and access to, welfare, health and counselling services
c. privacy and protection
d. information about the criminal justice system.
Download the NSW Charter of Victims Rights
6. Let your friend make her own decisions
You may feel like you want to make decisions on her behalf or push her to do things that you think is best. However it is important for her to be supported to make decisions, in her own time. It is helpful to let your friend know what her options are but it is her choice if she speaks to the police, attends hospital for a medical examination or speaks to a counsellor.
7. Find out more about violence against women
Violence against women is a widespread problem in Australia and affects us all. It is an abuse of power that can impact on a woman’s mental, emotional and physical health and can even result in premature death. Violence against women does not discriminate – affecting women across all social, economic and cultural groups, in public and private places.
Violence against women can take on many forms including:
- domestic and family violence;
- sexual assault;
- sexual harassment;
- discrimination and vilification;
- psychological and emotional abuse;
- financial abuse; and
- physical violence.
Violence can cause serious social, health and economic costs for women, their families and communities. Find out more
8. Let others know how they can help stop violence against women
You can help by displaying a poster which can help friends and families know how they can help if a woman tells them she has experienced violence. Email vaw-unit@community.nsw.gov.au to order a free poster to put up in a public places such as local shops, pubs, clubs, businesses, workplaces, Councils and Libraries.
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